I've always thought if I live perfect, look perfect and act perfect I will be happy. This thought has actually prevented me from the very thing I was hoping for. I thought that if I was 'perfect' I would be accepted and liked by others. My constant thought was What will people think? I wouldn't even pursue my dreams because I was too afraid to make mistakes and be seen as imperfect. When I would stuff up I would think it was because I wasn't good enough so I tried even harder to live, look and do everything perfectly. I was caught in this vicious cycle for years, I finally broke away from this and I would like to share how I did it in the hope that it will help you too.
Be your own best friend. When we treat ourselves in a loving way we can begin to embrace our imperfections. Being kind to yourself when you fail or when you don't feel good enough such as reminding yourself that you're doing the best you can will change your entire day and making this a habit can change your life.
Know your not alone. It's human nature to feel as though we aren't good enough. I always thought it was just me, I was surprised to know it is something every human being struggles with. This gave me comfort knowing I wasn't alone.
Celebrate your mistakes. Most of us from a young age were taught that mistakes are bad. Yet without mistakes we could not learn or grow. When you make a mistake no matter how big or small you should celebrate it and cherish it like it is the most precious thing in the world, it means you are growing.
Have a mantra. I have a mantra written on a post it note on my desk. It says 'Be kind to yourself Tan. This is not a big deal. Mistakes happen.' Having this mantra on hand reminds me to watch my thoughts and helps me to switch my thinking from 'you're so stupid' to 'how can i improve?'. Write your mantra and place it where you need it most, it will drown out the negative self-talk.
Let go of striving to be perfect. There is no such thing as perfect. You are beautiful and amazing just as you are. Don't try to be a perfect version of someone else just so people will like you, be yourself and the right people will love the real you, imperfections and all! Don't let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself.